…Just A Girl & Her Guitar…

… that is the question.

This question means different things to different people.

For me, this question is something so deep and so long-standing that it’s been difficult to even think about until recently.

To be, or not to be, indeed, it is the ultimate question…

Do I let down my walls and come out of my shell…  or do I stay safe inside them and protect myself.

Letting down my walls, walls that I have been building heartache by bleeding heartache since I was born, means letting people in.  How does someone who has been burned begin to trust the people around them again?  How do I allow people to see my vulnerabilities, to see my naked soul?

Coming out of my shell means opening up socially.  I’ve always been an observer, sitting in the corner watching everyone live life.  28 years of sitting on the bench and now I want to play.  It means more than just this, though.

Coming out of my shell means trusting myself, my intuition and believing that I’m right, that I’m on the right path, even when I can’t see the path for all the shadows that hide it from me.

Every child likes to dream about what they want to be when they grow up…  Some children change their dreams as they grow older.  Some want to be doctors, lawyers, veterinarians, firemen…

Sitting here, reflecting back… all I’ve ever wanted… is to sing.

When I Grow Up

Unfortunately for me, I’m not the only one who dreamed that dream, and has the talent to back it up.  So for me, pursuing the music I’ve always dreamed of, means jumping in with the sharks and hoping to God that I survive.

But how does someone with thin skin survive an ocean full of hungry sharks?

So… Ultimately… To be or not to be?

I chose to BE!

And here’s to the singers whose shoes I have to fill, whose footsteps I aim to follow…

Aaliyah - RIP

Alicia Keys

Amy Lee

Idina Menzel

Charlotte Church

Cristina Scabbia

Kelly Clarkson

UGH!!!

I hate being sick

I have been “sick” since Friday…  I spent most of my Valentines Day weekend in bed, taking vitamin c and other medications and am still here, in bed, congested and feeling gross!!!

I

HATE

BEING

SICK

!!!!!!!!

My bedside table contains the following: a half of a roll of toilet paper (have no kleenex left in the house so tp will have to do, and half a roll, because I’ve already used the missing half), vicks inhaler (not working for shit), carmex, remote, and an empty bottle of water – which I’m about to muster the energy to replace…

Thank the Goddess that I’ve stumbled upon an NCIS marathon – makes for sick girl happiness!

So this is more of a ugh rant than an actual blog…  hard to focus on writing anything when I’m preoccupied with head-hurting, sinus-congesting, sickness yuck.

With that said…  back to NCIS and trying to get better…

What Waking Up Looks Like

This is so cute, it needs no words…

The effects of drinking too much

There are some people who should have some sort of identifying marks on their licenses telling the bar tender NOT to serve to them, or not to serve more than 2 drinks to them…

Last night, I was out with my husband and some friends at Black Sheep, a really cool Irish pub/restaurant in Niantic, CT.  We were there to check out a band we follow, 2 Cat Zoo!!!  (THEY ARE AWESOME!!!)

2 Cat Zoo

They are too awesome not to talk about!!!

Well, Hubby and I got there early to eat dinner, because they have really good food, and we were told by the hostess that there was a birthday party of 40 people who were in the bar area, and to grab whatever table we wanted for the show after we ate before they started filtering into the dinning area (which is where the band sets up to play).

So all was well until about 10pm when the band was getting ready to start, and this chick comes up and sits down on one of the guy’s stools in front of his mic (he had run off to do something) and she started squawking into the mic, trying to get the b-day boy up to sing happy birthday to him.  That would have been fine, if she wasn’t already completely three sheets to the wind… and if she could SING.. but that’s another blog entirely…

Finally they are able to get this chick out of the way so the show could start (some 15 min after they were supposed to start… damn drunken ditz!)  But this chick must have been out to punish herself…

Completely blasted, wearing 3 inch heels (not stiletto’s, good solid heels, but still about 3 inches tall…), she kept coming back to the dance floor, and she would like stand there, directly in front of the guys, and wave at them, then start dancing…

At one point, about 11:30 ish… maybe closer to midnight…  I had turned to the woman sitting on my right and commented that she really needed to go sit down…

5….

4….

3….

2….

1….

she sat down…

Example of Drunken Chick falling on her bum...

(this isn’t the real chick…  I would have paid a million dollars to have had my camera ready for this… alas, fate does not permit such things…  if you were so lucky as to snap the fatal pic, you would probably end up dieing or something on the way home or some time thereafter… Fate likes to play games… tease…)

This is what it looked like, but she fell backwards over a speaker, into one guy’s microphone stand, knocking his mic into his face (poor guy – thank god he didn’t lose a tooth)…

After this, she was picked up and carried back over to her table at the bar where her mortified friends were watching (along with the rest of the packed bar/restaurant who saw London AND France…) where they tried to keep her sitting and drinking water…

It didn’t work…  She kept coming back to dance, and standing in front of the guys like she’s the only person in the room…

She honestly reminded me of an easily side tracked 5 year old child who kept coming over to fiddle with something Mommy had told her to leave alone…

Three times we (the band and the rest of the restaurant) thought we were rid of her, but she had only gone out with some friends for a cigarette…  and when she came back, the band member who ate his mic would announce “She’s back” and “Thought we were rid of her…” LMAO!!

She was so drunk she didn’t hear that, or the rest of the music lovers saying the same things…  My husband actually made a loud comment when she was right there (after the embarrassing fall) and she didn’t seem to hear it…

Sad thing – we see her out all the time…  She follows these guys too, but I don’t think she knows the word NO when it comes to alcohol…

SIT YOUR DRUNK ASS DOWN!!!

So… the moral of my story…  Learn when enough is enough, and if you have gone past that point… SIT YOUR DRUNK ASS DOWN!!!!  AND NOT ON THE BAND’S EQUIPMENT!!!

Phoenix Vail - Mistress of Fire

*Stretching*  AHHHH!!!!!!

Nice to have a new place to stretch and feel at home…

Lemme tell ya a true story…

Tonight…  I’m out at Black Sheep in Niantic, CT… checking out a totally awesome band – 2 Cat Zoo – when I get a text saying my blog is ready!!!  I was so excited about it, that all I could think about was getting home to play on my new blog…

I’ve been blogging here…  but that’s all done now that I have this nice new home.

Many many MANY thanks to Ms Princess Q herself and SillyJaime for their hard work on this page…  What do you think of the layout?  Jaime did that for me.  Nice huh???  PQ and Jaime are the BESTESTEST!!!!

Well, it’s now almost 2am on Sunday Feb 7th…  I’m gonna finish this drink and head to bed.. Being the designated driver kinda sucks, but I had a really good time out tonight…